Duality

It's hard to follow Tim's poem, (which was sad, but true.) but as I told Tim if we don't take turns posting it would throw off the delicate balance of the "He Said, She Said" theme, so I must.

My mind is always awhirl with thoughts and ideas but I don't always write them down. I'm thankful Tim suggested co-authoring a blog because it holds me accountable to someone and I'm far more likely to follow through when another human being is counting on me than when left to my own devices. (And vices.)

For instance, today is Mother's Day. Jeff had to work and my kids are 1000's of miles away, so if I want breakfast in bed, I'd have to make myself an omelet and go lay down. Jeff just emailed me an ad from a local restaurant that's serving .50 cent margaritas for Mom's all day and I have 20 bucks in my purse. I figure I should wake up by Thursday.

Ellen had a guest on her show a few years back that uttered the phrase "I love Jesus but I drink a little." I loved it so much my friend and co-Stow Class of 79 grad Mark Marko put it on a t-shirt for me.

It pretty much sums up my battle between faith and flesh. I grew up in church, asked Jesus into my heart at age 5, joined a Christian theatre group when I was 19, and for the past decade have worked at a church and been involved in ministry of all varieties. I am a Christian. I love Jesus. But...


On the other hand, I have a fondness for tequila, rock and roll, and text the "F" word to my best friend when I'm having a hard day. And those are just the sins I'm willing to post publicly for the world's review.

And it's not just faith and flesh where I battle to decide who I am. I'm a Democrat on paper, but I'm not as left as they'd like me to be. I'm not conservative enough for the GOP and am constantly chastised by my fellow church members for my left wing bleeding heart tendencies.


I don't fit in on either side of the line.

On Saturday nights, I write a soap opera column about a show that glorifies mob violence and random sex, but hop up on Sunday morning to sing about Jesus in the church choir.

How can those two beings reside in one body? Am I a hypocrite, or just human?

According to my late great Dad the pastor, the thing that you can't stand in others is a reflection of you own sin. For instance, if you think everyone is lying and hate liars, it's probably because you're a liar. Well the thing I hate in others is hypocrisy, like when I see a Christian Right leader who has railed against gays get caught hiring a gay prostitute.

So, if Dad's theory is accurate, I'm a hypocrite. But it's just another thing to work on because as the saying goes "God's not finished with me yet." But in all seriousness, I never want to get too holy to enjoy a good .50 cent margarita on Mother's Day.