The Sanctity of Marriage

In the classic film The Princess Bride, one of the characters keeps using the word “inconceivable” to describe things that have indeed happened and are, in fact, conceivable.

Another character chides him, “You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” 

That’s kind of how I feel every time I hear some Christian bellowing on TV about the “sanctity” of marriage.  The dictionary defines sanctity as “The state or quality of being holy, sacred, or saintly. Ultimate importance and inviolability.”

But that isn’t the way Christians treat marriage. According to a Barna study a few years back, Christian divorce rates are equal to, and are sometimes even higher than the divorce rate to those who do not share our faith. To make my point even more clear, the study group identifying themselves as Atheists had a lower divorce rate than evangelical Christians.

Why then do I read that a certain right wing radio commentator blathering on about the indecency of same sex marriage? How can people who identify themselves, as Christians be so concerned about the marriages of people outside of their faith if they can’t even follow the rules themselves? 

In Matthew 7:3, Jesus says “Why do you look at that speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

I think we as a church have to just shut up. I think we have to stop talking until we have moral high ground to stand on and right now, we don’t.  We fail as often as the rest of the world fails in keeping our commitments. The facts show that our faith does not have any significant affect on our marriages. We throw in the towel just as many times statistically as someone who took their vows in front of a justice of the peace and not the Holy God. 

With that sort of track record, why would anyone turn to us for advice on what’s right and wrong in marriage?  Everyone knows you should only ask for advice on something from someone who has been successful at it, and sorry church, but that is not us. 

Each of us will have to stand before God and give account for all of our choices, and I didn’t see anywhere in the Bible where it says straight people get a free pass. If a professing Christian has ever cheated on their spouse, hit their spouse, verbally demeaned their spouse, left their spouse, divorced their spouse, lied to their spouse, watched online porn thereby coveting another lover while married, or committed any other sin while married, then we should shut up about how other people choose to enter into marriage. 

We can’t be God’s police on the beat of marriage sanctity until we ourselves are sanctified.

- Tamilu- 2013

An Earnest Warning

An earnest warning to the youth of today:
Enjoy your heroes, starlets and even parents while you can
For someday sooner than you think, they too will pass away.

The (Absolutely, Positively, Messed Up Way) We Choose Our Leaders

Watching the HBO film “Game Change” this week was a glaring reminder of the new truth in American Politics.

We are not voting from a pool of the best, brightest, and most qualified members of our respective parties, we are instead voting for a person chosen by party advisors who believe a certain person would bring a desired voting demographic to an election, regardless of the qualifications of said candidate.

Sarah Palin, the candidate the film Game Change focused on, was loved, hated, feared, blamed, but never ignored in the 2008 campaign cycle.

No one in the GOP said, “The most qualified person in our party to be second in command to John McCain is Sarah Palin.” No one.

Instead, it was determined that John McCain had a poor showing among women voters and they needed to find a “Game Changer” candidate for his running mate to combat Obama’s growing popularity. They needed someone who would appeal to Independents and women. In short – they Googled all the women in the GOP who held a power position in business and politics and crossed out people who didn’t play well on You Tube.

Then they came to Gov. Palin of Alaska…Sarah was pretty! She was charismatic! She was the mother of a special needs child! She liked guns! She was a devout Christian! She could singlehandedly appeal to several factions of the GOP base and draw them in, and possibly appeal to women across party lines. (Or so the theory went.)

But there was a problem – after they announced her candidacy, they realized they had failed to sufficient vet her and that she was unable to answer basic questions about…almost anything.

After awkwardly discovering this troubling fact, after realizing and acknowledging privately that they had made a terribly uninformed choice, knowing the person they were selling to the American public as a worthy vice presidential candidate didn’t have any grasp of the world and its players- they didn’t replace her. They continued to market her for the sake of the win.

And this, of course, is old news. We all know Sarah Palin was unable to answer basic questions in interviews. But have we learned anything from that giant lapse in political judgment? Are we more careful choosing candidates today?

No. Consider the field of GOP candidates and ask yourself “Are the 4 remaining contenders truly the best and brightest the Republican Party has to offer?”

I don’t believe they are. I believe they are the people with the most money and the craftiest spin doctors. I believe there are potential candidates in both parties who are fair minded, innovative, free thinking, compromise-capable people who truly love their country and want to work to find solutions to the anchors that keep the U.S. from sailing into the future. But those people don’t always get considered. Those people don't get funded.

Instead our political system has turned into a reality show with a massive expense account where only the prettiest and richest contestants get voted through to the next round while the real leaders get passed over because the camera doesn’t love them.

It’s hard for Americans to get enthused about voting when they are continually voting for the lesser of two evils instead of having a stellar field of candidates with new ideas and fresh vision from which to choose. But as long as candidates are picked and controlled by handlers, consultants and people with a vested interest in keeping the status quo – we will end up with more under-educated and over-produced candidates with a movie star smile instead of visionary leaders.

Tammy Lou Waite © 2012

You Two

You two
You two suck
You two don't give a fuck
You two've got it all undone
You two are supposed to be one
You two need to seek My face
You two need grace
You two

The Heavy Responsibility of Truth

People it turns out, like lies. Particularly if those lies further an agenda they believe in, humiliate someone they don’t care for, or stir up trouble when there is peace.

I received an e-mail today whose subject line proclaimed that “Obama-Care Will Implant Computer Chips” for everyone in the U.S., with evil, Big Brother like intentions.

That sounded highly unlikely (and especially dastardly) to me, so I immediately did what I do every time I receive a bizarre claim by email, I looked it up.

There are a plethora of fact checking websites available:

www.truthorfiction.com

www.snopes.com

www.factcheck.org

www.politifact.com

Just for starters… When I dropped the phrase “Implant a Chip” into their search databases, it came back “False” with a detailed explanation of the origin of the rumor and the research to back up the claim that the rumor was false. There was language in a version of the bill that never passed that mentioned a tracking device of some sort, but was scrapped. The email was false, period. (Link below)

http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/microchip.asp

However, in spite of the fact that I was able to discern this email was a lie in about 4 seconds, I got the same email 5 times that day, and it’s from a rumor that’s over a year old.

So conceivably, a lie has been spreading around the country for a year and none of the people who sent it to me, and none of the 45 people in the cc box who sent it to them ever bothered to research the facts before hitting forward.

That troubles me.

When I hit “reply all” and sent the actual facts back to the hundred or so people who were cc’ed on this e-mail – many of them responded in anger. They were sincerely mad at me for pointing out that an e-mail full of lies was untrue.

Say what? You’d rather believe lies that back up your prejudices and preconceived notions than embrace the facts at hand?

Exodus 20:16 “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” (KJV)

Exodus 23:1 “Do not spread false reports.” (NIV)

As Christians, we are commanded not to spread lies. Even lies in emails about politicians we don’t like, whose parties we don’t support, whose agendas aggravate us and whose health plans might raise our taxes.

We are bound by the word of God to be truth tellers, even if that truth isn’t to our liking.

It’s a great responsibility to be the watchdog of lies and to refuse to participate in campaigns of hatred, and fear mongering. We must constantly guard against the urge to allow a lie to be believed when we had the opportunity to squash and disprove it even when the lie would further our own political agendas.

You can’t fake ignorance -God and I know you have Google – so use it.

Tammy Lou Waite © 2011

50 Random Musings from a 50-year-old Man

1) When you have the urge to roll over in bed and strangle your spouse in their sleep, don't. You won't want your children to grow up as orphans.
2) Don't be a controller. While you're busy trying to control the destinies of those around you, you'll be missing your own. God gives us free will. Who are we to give each other less?
3) Men are pigs. I can admit it, but we are teachable. If you can stomach our sophomoric behavior for a few weeks/months/decades, you might be richly rewarded. We eventually grow up, I think.
4) Marry for love. Love is a decision, not an emotion. Money comes and goes, jobs come and go, looks come and go, feelings come and go. Love can be eternal. Don't give in to the urge to let go when things get rough. And things will get rough.
5) Don't worry about how you look when you dance. Just dance.
6) Don't fret about not being part of the popular group or the in crowd. Embrace the fringe. In high school, look for that guy/gal who's a little out of place, but observing everything. Someday you will be working for him/her. Think Bill Gates, Madonna, Mark Zuckerberg, etc..
7) Say your prayers.
8) Pay your bills.
9) Take your pills.
10) Eat your dills. Just checking to see if you're still paying attention.
11) Regardless of his cheesy performance in 'Titanic', Leo DiCaprio in the best actor of his generation, in my humble opinion. See 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape', 'Catch Me if You Can', 'The Aviator', 'Revolutionary Road', 'Shutter Island', 'Inception', etc..
12) Beware of 50-cent tequila shot night at college bars with names like 'The Loft', 'The Bucket Shop' or 'The Library'. $5 can get you into a whole lotta trouble. You may even 'Bruce Lee' kick over a port-o-john with your buddies while in flip-flops and end up with a hugh piece of glass in your big toe. Not that I would know.
13) Run DMC is STILL the best rap group of all time. The iconic Adidas, the iconic thick gold chains, the iconic cross-genre video with Steven Tyler and Aerosmith - if someone has topped them, I don't know who it is. RIP Jam Master Jay.
14) Conformity is a trap. Why would you wanna be someone else when you can be you? If you don't do you who will?
15) Love the one you're with. Some will remember the old Stephen Stills song from the early 70's. It's so true. Don't be pining for someone you can't be with. Throw yourself headlong into the person you are with. If it doesn't get returned, then the time isn't right so move on.
16) High School cheerleading is a sport. Ask ANY girl who has EVER been part of the Rochester High School Cheer Team. 'Nuff said.
17) When I was young my grandfather once said never talk about religion or politics because there's no quicker way to start an argument. I thought to myself, "But Grandpa, those are my two favorite subjects." Of course, this was before I noticed girls.
18) The two party political system is irreparably broken. I propose the Birthday Party. When it's your birthday, you're in charge. It can't be any worse than what we have now.
19) There is no "them/they". The second I hear someone refer to a group of people as "them/they", I tune out. WE are all "them" to somebody. Don't fall for the racism/bigotry/scapegoating trap.
20) It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
21) The people with ADHD are not the problem. It's the people who want to drug the people with ADHD who are the problem.
22) Life is like baseball. We get our at bats, take our swings, we want to get a hit, we long to reach first, second and third base. We all eventually wanna score/go home.
23) Eracism.
24) People are people.
25) Everything is everything.
26) When you have some time, listen to "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye in it's entirety. Better than any album I know, it's sums up what the hippie movement of the 60's was all about. Again, color does not matter.
27) If you love someone, set them free. This is more than a song by Sting. Give them the freedon they need and want. If they come back - bonus; if they don't, it wasn't meant to be.
28) During the summer, listen to Madonna in your car at full blast with all the windows down while driving around the 'burbs (Rochester Hills, MI; if you can). You'll be amazed at how many friends you make.
29) Silly Love Songs are not silly.
30) Don't be afraid to be emotional. Mourn your losses hard, but only for a time. Celebrate your wins hard, but only for a time.
31) Be a good loser and a gracious winner. Again, you'll be amazed at how many friends you make.
32) Love your family. However, also realize that some folks who aren't blood relatives are family and some who are aren't.
33) Fresh tastes best. At least that's what the sticker on my banana says.
34) This sh*t is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s...
35) Study hard.
36) Finish High School.
37) Get a degree (if you can).
38) Never ever stop learning. Once you do you're dead. Maybe not physically, but in all the other ways.
39) Cherish your friends. Spend time with people who accept you unconditionally. Once conditions show up, they're trying to be your pimp and want you to be their whore. Don't do it.
40) U2 is the best band in the land. How many groups have been making original music for over 30 straight years with all of its original members? Here's to Paul, David, Adam and Larry.
41) Study the globe. The world is getting smaller. Be ready for the changes that are coming.
42) Some of my best friends are women of color. Most sistas know what it's all about. They have the double-minority-whammy and have had to find another way. They are some of the most resourceful people I know. Oops, I just said "they"!!
43) Motown music is the best. Marvin, Stevie, Aretha, Temps, Tops, Supremes, Jacksons... need I say more?!
44) Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport. I played one year in High School and thank God I wasn't any good. Slow white men should not be cornerbacks. I'm thankful I still have a healthy body and my wits about me. No editorial comments please.
45) Michael Jordan never looked right in this number.
46) Don't be afraid to lavish those around you with cool gifts. It is better to give than receive.
47) I love coffee and I don't just mean the level above "like". It's more like "adore". Am I allowed to adore a bean?! That's not idolatry, is it??
48) If you're white, don't be afraid to eat different ethnic foods - Italian food, Mexican food, Chinese food, Tai food, Indian food, Soul food. You may put on a few pounds, but you're too damn skinny anyway. It'll be worth it.
49) Never stop riding your bike.
50) I'm now fiddy, not fifty. There's a difference.

- thug_nation © May 1, 2011

Follow me on Twitter @thug_nation

Car Smart, Man Dumb, Part Deux!

I had a Forrest Gump moment the other day. I picked up a book for my wife and was so excited to give it to her. On the way home I saw her on the back porch, so I parked my car in the driveway and jumped out to run around back to give her the book. Then I see this blue thing out of the corner of my eye moving into the garage. I had forgotten to put the car in park. Thank God it's a Smart Car and there was a huge recycle bin in the way that stopped it from crashing into our ramp.

"Lt. Daaaaaaannnn!!!"