In the classic film The Princess Bride, one of the characters keeps using the word “inconceivable” to describe things that have indeed happened and are, in fact, conceivable.
Another character chides him, “You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
That’s kind of how I feel every time I hear some Christian bellowing on TV about the “sanctity” of marriage. The dictionary defines sanctity as “The state or quality of being holy, sacred, or saintly. Ultimate importance and inviolability.”
But that isn’t the way Christians treat marriage. According to a Barna study a few years back, Christian divorce rates are equal to, and are sometimes even higher than the divorce rate to those who do not share our faith. To make my point even more clear, the study group identifying themselves as Atheists had a lower divorce rate than evangelical Christians.
Why then do I read that a certain right wing radio commentator blathering on about the indecency of same sex marriage? How can people who identify themselves, as Christians be so concerned about the marriages of people outside of their faith if they can’t even follow the rules themselves?
In Matthew 7:3, Jesus says “Why do you look at that speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
I think we as a church have to just shut up. I think we have to stop talking until we have moral high ground to stand on and right now, we don’t. We fail as often as the rest of the world fails in keeping our commitments. The facts show that our faith does not have any significant affect on our marriages. We throw in the towel just as many times statistically as someone who took their vows in front of a justice of the peace and not the Holy God.
With that sort of track record, why would anyone turn to us for advice on what’s right and wrong in marriage? Everyone knows you should only ask for advice on something from someone who has been successful at it, and sorry church, but that is not us.
Each of us will have to stand before God and give account for all of our choices, and I didn’t see anywhere in the Bible where it says straight people get a free pass. If a professing Christian has ever cheated on their spouse, hit their spouse, verbally demeaned their spouse, left their spouse, divorced their spouse, lied to their spouse, watched online porn thereby coveting another lover while married, or committed any other sin while married, then we should shut up about how other people choose to enter into marriage.
We can’t be God’s police on the beat of marriage sanctity until we ourselves are sanctified.
- Tamilu- 2013
