The Heavy Responsibility of Truth

People it turns out, like lies. Particularly if those lies further an agenda they believe in, humiliate someone they don’t care for, or stir up trouble when there is peace.

I received an e-mail today whose subject line proclaimed that “Obama-Care Will Implant Computer Chips” for everyone in the U.S., with evil, Big Brother like intentions.

That sounded highly unlikely (and especially dastardly) to me, so I immediately did what I do every time I receive a bizarre claim by email, I looked it up.

There are a plethora of fact checking websites available:

www.truthorfiction.com

www.snopes.com

www.factcheck.org

www.politifact.com

Just for starters… When I dropped the phrase “Implant a Chip” into their search databases, it came back “False” with a detailed explanation of the origin of the rumor and the research to back up the claim that the rumor was false. There was language in a version of the bill that never passed that mentioned a tracking device of some sort, but was scrapped. The email was false, period. (Link below)

http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/microchip.asp

However, in spite of the fact that I was able to discern this email was a lie in about 4 seconds, I got the same email 5 times that day, and it’s from a rumor that’s over a year old.

So conceivably, a lie has been spreading around the country for a year and none of the people who sent it to me, and none of the 45 people in the cc box who sent it to them ever bothered to research the facts before hitting forward.

That troubles me.

When I hit “reply all” and sent the actual facts back to the hundred or so people who were cc’ed on this e-mail – many of them responded in anger. They were sincerely mad at me for pointing out that an e-mail full of lies was untrue.

Say what? You’d rather believe lies that back up your prejudices and preconceived notions than embrace the facts at hand?

Exodus 20:16 “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” (KJV)

Exodus 23:1 “Do not spread false reports.” (NIV)

As Christians, we are commanded not to spread lies. Even lies in emails about politicians we don’t like, whose parties we don’t support, whose agendas aggravate us and whose health plans might raise our taxes.

We are bound by the word of God to be truth tellers, even if that truth isn’t to our liking.

It’s a great responsibility to be the watchdog of lies and to refuse to participate in campaigns of hatred, and fear mongering. We must constantly guard against the urge to allow a lie to be believed when we had the opportunity to squash and disprove it even when the lie would further our own political agendas.

You can’t fake ignorance -God and I know you have Google – so use it.

Tammy Lou Waite © 2011

50 Random Musings from a 50-year-old Man

1) When you have the urge to roll over in bed and strangle your spouse in their sleep, don't. You won't want your children to grow up as orphans.
2) Don't be a controller. While you're busy trying to control the destinies of those around you, you'll be missing your own. God gives us free will. Who are we to give each other less?
3) Men are pigs. I can admit it, but we are teachable. If you can stomach our sophomoric behavior for a few weeks/months/decades, you might be richly rewarded. We eventually grow up, I think.
4) Marry for love. Love is a decision, not an emotion. Money comes and goes, jobs come and go, looks come and go, feelings come and go. Love can be eternal. Don't give in to the urge to let go when things get rough. And things will get rough.
5) Don't worry about how you look when you dance. Just dance.
6) Don't fret about not being part of the popular group or the in crowd. Embrace the fringe. In high school, look for that guy/gal who's a little out of place, but observing everything. Someday you will be working for him/her. Think Bill Gates, Madonna, Mark Zuckerberg, etc..
7) Say your prayers.
8) Pay your bills.
9) Take your pills.
10) Eat your dills. Just checking to see if you're still paying attention.
11) Regardless of his cheesy performance in 'Titanic', Leo DiCaprio in the best actor of his generation, in my humble opinion. See 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape', 'Catch Me if You Can', 'The Aviator', 'Revolutionary Road', 'Shutter Island', 'Inception', etc..
12) Beware of 50-cent tequila shot night at college bars with names like 'The Loft', 'The Bucket Shop' or 'The Library'. $5 can get you into a whole lotta trouble. You may even 'Bruce Lee' kick over a port-o-john with your buddies while in flip-flops and end up with a hugh piece of glass in your big toe. Not that I would know.
13) Run DMC is STILL the best rap group of all time. The iconic Adidas, the iconic thick gold chains, the iconic cross-genre video with Steven Tyler and Aerosmith - if someone has topped them, I don't know who it is. RIP Jam Master Jay.
14) Conformity is a trap. Why would you wanna be someone else when you can be you? If you don't do you who will?
15) Love the one you're with. Some will remember the old Stephen Stills song from the early 70's. It's so true. Don't be pining for someone you can't be with. Throw yourself headlong into the person you are with. If it doesn't get returned, then the time isn't right so move on.
16) High School cheerleading is a sport. Ask ANY girl who has EVER been part of the Rochester High School Cheer Team. 'Nuff said.
17) When I was young my grandfather once said never talk about religion or politics because there's no quicker way to start an argument. I thought to myself, "But Grandpa, those are my two favorite subjects." Of course, this was before I noticed girls.
18) The two party political system is irreparably broken. I propose the Birthday Party. When it's your birthday, you're in charge. It can't be any worse than what we have now.
19) There is no "them/they". The second I hear someone refer to a group of people as "them/they", I tune out. WE are all "them" to somebody. Don't fall for the racism/bigotry/scapegoating trap.
20) It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
21) The people with ADHD are not the problem. It's the people who want to drug the people with ADHD who are the problem.
22) Life is like baseball. We get our at bats, take our swings, we want to get a hit, we long to reach first, second and third base. We all eventually wanna score/go home.
23) Eracism.
24) People are people.
25) Everything is everything.
26) When you have some time, listen to "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye in it's entirety. Better than any album I know, it's sums up what the hippie movement of the 60's was all about. Again, color does not matter.
27) If you love someone, set them free. This is more than a song by Sting. Give them the freedon they need and want. If they come back - bonus; if they don't, it wasn't meant to be.
28) During the summer, listen to Madonna in your car at full blast with all the windows down while driving around the 'burbs (Rochester Hills, MI; if you can). You'll be amazed at how many friends you make.
29) Silly Love Songs are not silly.
30) Don't be afraid to be emotional. Mourn your losses hard, but only for a time. Celebrate your wins hard, but only for a time.
31) Be a good loser and a gracious winner. Again, you'll be amazed at how many friends you make.
32) Love your family. However, also realize that some folks who aren't blood relatives are family and some who are aren't.
33) Fresh tastes best. At least that's what the sticker on my banana says.
34) This sh*t is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s...
35) Study hard.
36) Finish High School.
37) Get a degree (if you can).
38) Never ever stop learning. Once you do you're dead. Maybe not physically, but in all the other ways.
39) Cherish your friends. Spend time with people who accept you unconditionally. Once conditions show up, they're trying to be your pimp and want you to be their whore. Don't do it.
40) U2 is the best band in the land. How many groups have been making original music for over 30 straight years with all of its original members? Here's to Paul, David, Adam and Larry.
41) Study the globe. The world is getting smaller. Be ready for the changes that are coming.
42) Some of my best friends are women of color. Most sistas know what it's all about. They have the double-minority-whammy and have had to find another way. They are some of the most resourceful people I know. Oops, I just said "they"!!
43) Motown music is the best. Marvin, Stevie, Aretha, Temps, Tops, Supremes, Jacksons... need I say more?!
44) Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport. I played one year in High School and thank God I wasn't any good. Slow white men should not be cornerbacks. I'm thankful I still have a healthy body and my wits about me. No editorial comments please.
45) Michael Jordan never looked right in this number.
46) Don't be afraid to lavish those around you with cool gifts. It is better to give than receive.
47) I love coffee and I don't just mean the level above "like". It's more like "adore". Am I allowed to adore a bean?! That's not idolatry, is it??
48) If you're white, don't be afraid to eat different ethnic foods - Italian food, Mexican food, Chinese food, Tai food, Indian food, Soul food. You may put on a few pounds, but you're too damn skinny anyway. It'll be worth it.
49) Never stop riding your bike.
50) I'm now fiddy, not fifty. There's a difference.

- thug_nation © May 1, 2011

Follow me on Twitter @thug_nation

Car Smart, Man Dumb, Part Deux!

I had a Forrest Gump moment the other day. I picked up a book for my wife and was so excited to give it to her. On the way home I saw her on the back porch, so I parked my car in the driveway and jumped out to run around back to give her the book. Then I see this blue thing out of the corner of my eye moving into the garage. I had forgotten to put the car in park. Thank God it's a Smart Car and there was a huge recycle bin in the way that stopped it from crashing into our ramp.

"Lt. Daaaaaaannnn!!!"

Car Smart, Man Dumb

Just after the first of the year, we found out that my wife has cancer. This was quite a blow to us as she's already been dealing with MS the last twenty or so years. I had just been through three months of worsening depression that culminated in her diagnosis. For the first time in my life, I seriously contemplated suicide. After a couple weeks of only going to work and caring for her with very little sleep, I was able to meet a good friend of mine for coffee. I told him I had thought about ending it all, but that my Smart Car probably couldn't create enough emissions to fill my garage. He said, "Yeah, the headline would read 'Car Smart, Man Dumb'". I laughed harder than I had in several months. That was the beginning of the healing process. Thanks, Jeff!!

50 Random Musings from a 50 Year Old Woman

I wanted to come up with some wise advice after 50 years of life, but - hey, it's me, so you got this instead.

1) If you have a chance to travel, or have an adventure – Go. Even if they repo your car while you’re away because you took a trip instead of paying the bill.
2) Mom was right, 70’s fashions DID come back in style.
3) All kinds of love matter in a life, not just the romantic kind. Treasure your friends.
4) Don’t drink .25 cent beers and play cards in the student center all instead of going to your college classes even though it’s REALLY fun.
5) Never look at someone and think “They have potential.” – They are who they are and they may never grow into your idealized version of them. Ask yourself if you can live with the “as is” version.
6) If you’re dating a guy who likes the theatre and never hits on you, he’s not a gentleman, he’s gay. Even if he makes out with you sometimes when he’s drunk.
7) If you meet someone who says they don’t care for Leonard Cohen or Bob Dylan, they’re probably illiterate. Even if you hate their voices, they are POETS.
8) Find your Betsy. (i.e. Best friend, partner in crime, person who is always on your side even when you’re clearly in the wrong.)
9) Keep people’s secrets, even when they’re very juicy. Loyalty matters.
10) Heed the advice my late great friend Father Jim gave me “Jesus died to take away your sins, not your mind.” Read. Research. Ask questions. Do not believe anything blindly.
11) And to that end, God is not affiliated with any political party.
12) Enjoy your guilty pleasure and be unashamed for reveling in it –because someday someone might pay you to watch soaps and write about them!
13) Pay attention in high school or you might get so caught up in your teen angst that you miss the person who could have been your best friend your whole life. No really, I mean it.
14) If you really like something, chances are someday they will determine it cause heart disease or cancer. So eat or drink a lot of it before science catches up and warns you.
15) My friend Andie Casey told me when I was 19 that “Life is about having good stories to tell when you’re old.” She was right.
16) So, this one time, Andie and I were doing a play in a barn and a cow walked onto our stage…
17) And one night in Vegas, Betsy and I had a cocktail with Captain Jack Sparrow and met Elvis on the same day.
18) And back in 1980 I had pizza and beer with President Carter the night before I was interviewed on 60 Minutes about being college student’s political impact on the upcoming election.
19) And that was after Ted Kennedy kissed my hand at the Farmer’s Market in Cleveland, Ohio. I have a witness, Mark Eckenrode was with me.
20) Oh, and did I forget to mention I once had breakfast with George “Goober” Lindsey and he drove me home in his limo?
21) I once drove my car into a brick wall to avoid hitting a cat. Not the best idea I ever had.
22) I moved to San Diego basically on a whim after hearing Counting Crows “Long December” on the radio and realizing it really HAD been a long time since I’d seen the ocean.
23) So, Yes, I have made life choices based on pop song lyrics.
24) One summer in the Theatre group I toured with, (yay CP) we were so broke we ate solely things we won from the McDonald’s peel off game cards except when my mom sent a care package with instant oatmeal and we made it with hot tap water in coffee mugs and ate it with our toothbrush handles. (Right Michael, Peta and Diane???)
25) Nothing and no one can ever convince me God doesn’t exist because I have a relationship with Him. I have not imagined all the times He has clearly intervened in my life. I’m a little kooky, but not full on insane.
26) I know there are people who hate their exes after they break up, but I still love everyone I’ve ever loved. My heart doesn’t come with an “Off” switch. In fact, many of my old flames are my FB pals and we still get on quite well, right guys? (Say no and I release your old love letters to TMZ.)
27) Read lots of books. Take notes in them and highlight things. Let them soak into your soul. And if you don’t know where to start, a little Walt Whitman “Leaves of Grass” should handily blow your mind.
28) Last year I dressed up like an old hippie for Halloween because I am an old hippie.
29) The reason I love OB so much is because it’s clearly still 1972 on Newport Avenue.
30) Betsy will go along with any cockamamie idea I come up with – and I love her for that. Like that time we flew to Chicago and crashed a random office Christmas party at our hotel.
31) Some people have heroes that are sports or movie stars – my heroes are my Mama, my late Daddy, my Grandpa and Grandma Wallace, my cousins Mary Alice and Jon, my aunts and uncles, my in-laws and… well – you get the idea. I come from good people. I don’t suppose I knew how rare my family was until I met people who hated their families.
32) I never gave birth, but I have 2 lovely daughters, 2 son-in-laws and 9 adorable grandkids. So, if you’re afraid of being a step-mom, it’s better than you think. If of course, you end up with step daughters as wonderful as Katrina and Sarah.
33) If you’re really hot and you want to swim but there are dead fish floating in the water, you CAN get in and swim while batting the dead fish away with a stick but it’s probably not a good idea.
34) At the time, having your mug in the top ten on the Beer Wall of Fame at college may seem like quite an accomplishment, but turns out it doesn’t really add much to a resume in the future.
35) “Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness, morning by morning, new mercies I see. All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided – great is Thy faithfulness Lord unto me.”
36) Yes, I still dig the old hymns.
37) If you meet someone who doesn’t like dogs, you should be instantly suspicious of their character.
38) If the chance arises, go to Paris.
39) If you go to the Bahamas, buy rum.
40) If you go to Canada when you’re 16 and spend all your babysitting money on a pair of giant deerskin fleece lined mittens, they will last you your entire life. But if you move to San Diego, they are mostly rendered useless.
41) Do a lot of kissing when you’re young.
42) Moisturize your neck. It doesn’t seem like it should need moisturized, but trust me, it does. Have you seen Steven Tyler’s neck? Just sayin.
43) Sing songs until you know them.. After you forget everything you learned in school, you will still know all the words to Billy Don’t Be A Hero, and other embarrassing songs. This will come in handy at parties. Or when you Karaoke with Fig.
44) Embrace your inner nerd.
45) When you’re doing embarrassing and reckless things in your youth, you will have one friend like Calvin who will remember them and take great joy in posting them on your Facebook wall later in life to shatter anyone’s illusion that you might be a saint. (Thanks for keeping me grounded dude.)
46) When you’re bored in a small town, get a can of paint and drive around with a funnel painting lines on the middle of dirt roads. (This one’s for you Dave Mateau.)
47) Have one friend who can read your mind from across the room. (Cheeky-Nay-Nay)
48) I loved Elton John when I was 12. I love Elton John now.
49) I passed notes and mocked the teacher when I was in 7th grade. I passed notes and mocked the teacher in a class I took this week.
50) Which brings me back to #5 – I am who I’ve always been, even 50 years in. Sorry to anyone who once thought I “had potential.”

- Tamilu © March 22, 2011

Follow me on Twitter @tamilu40

3 reasons I believe in God- Tamilu

Yesterday I posted a statement on my FB page “A man with an argument can never trump a man with an experience.” and I posted that because I was reminded about the intricacies of faith. Faith sometimes means believing in something that does not make logical sense according to the scholars of the day.

I have a meager education. I went to college, but spent more time in the student center playing euchre and drinking .25 cent beers than attending class. A lot of people could out maneuver me in an argument. A lot of people could come at me with intellectual debates about God and ask me questions I couldn’t answer. But nothing can sway my belief in God because of I’ve had experiences that prove otherwise.

1. I grew up with a Dad who was an alcoholic. My entire life until I was 15, my Dad drank. He went to work every day, and then stopped at the bar on the way home and drank until he either passed out, or had to be escorted home by his friend the chief of police. My mom was a devout Christian. We prayed for my Dad on my knees by my bedside nightly. He got angry about our prayers and told my Mom to “keep her prayers off of him.” he was distant and crabby and kids in my neighborhood weren’t allowed to play at my house because a mean drunk lived there. One Easter, Mom and I got up to go to church and my dad was sitting in the living room in his suit. My mom said her initial thought was “Where is Jack going to go drinking on Easter Sunday morning?” She assumed he was dressed to go to the bar. She asked where he was going and he said “To church with you.” I can’t say why. I don’t know why after us praying for a decade he randomly decided to go to church. But, he did. And when they asked who wanted to give their life to Jesus, my Dad leapt out of his seat and wept his way down the aisle. He became a new man that day. He never took another drink. He never went to AA or rehab, he said God delivered him from the desire to drink. He stopped smoking and swearing, too. He started...talking to me. He never graduated from high school and didn’t read well. He took night classes, learned to read and went to Bible college. He became a pastor and worked as a chaplain in a Children’s psychiatric hospital ministering to kids that had substance abuse issues. The list of charities he worked with and for are countless. When he died 6 years ago, people I never knew wrote Mom and I letters “Your Dad saved my life.” - the same dad I grew up with that was a scary drunk that the neighbors feared. The people who knew my Dad before he got saved could not believe he had become a pastor. The people that knew my dad after he got saved saw him as a hero and a saint and could not believe he used to be a drunk. He didn’t even look the same. If I showed you a pre-God photo and a post-God photo of my Dad, you would think it was two different men. This was not an act of willpower on my Dad’s part. It was divine intervention.

There is a story in the Bible in John chapter 9. A man who was blind from birth was healed by Jesus. People challenged him and argued with him about laws Jesus broke, etc – the guy said (paraphrased)

“I don’t know if Jesus is a sinner, all I know is I was blind and now I can see.”

1. 
   

1. When people try to convince me there is no God, I say:

1. 
   

"My dad was a drunk and then he wasn’t."

2. There is a guy I work with named Richard. Richard has a beautiful singing voice and sings at weddings and at various events. But we’ve been sad, because Richard has a brain tumor and has been suffering seizures and was in very bad shape. Last month, Richard sang at an event I was at – one of the pastors at the event said “As some of you know, Richard is battling cancer and he has a brain tumor and he was up all night puking but he still came and sang for us today.” Everyone clapped. Someone yelled “Can we pray for him?” Sure – the guy said. So, the 100+ people in the room walked up and laid their hands on him and prayed. We got the word last week that when he went to his medical check up – the doctors were shocked to discover his golf ball size tumor is gone. Vanished.

Richard had a tumor and now he doesn’t.

3. My friend Ken was a drummer in a local band. My friends and I were little teenaged groupies and went to see them play everyplace they went. He was totally healthy and strong, but one day – he starting getting weird tingling in his limbs. He was diagnosed with MS (or some other muscle disease I can’t recall for sure). I watched him go from whole healthy hot young drummer to crippled. He was in a wheelchair and was expected to be completely immobile within the year. He still had use of his arms at that point and was playing at our church one night. He had gotten so bad the other band members had to pick him up and set him behind his drums. We had a guest speaker that night who saw this and he said “Can I pray for this young man?” and he did – he put his hands on Ken and asked God for a miracle. I felt the power of God move through the room and through my body. My hands are shaking and my eyes are tearing up while I write this. 10 seconds later, Ken got up and walked away from the drums, completely healed in an instant. I saw him deteriorate over two years time and I saw him completely healed in 10 seconds.

I told this story to someone recently and they said “Yeah, well how is he NOW? For all you know, he relapsed a year later.” I didn’t know the answer to that because I lost touch with him. SO, I recently tracked him down on Facebook and said “You probably don’t remember me but...” - but he did remember me, and that night. He said God totally healed him that night and he never had another problem in his life. That was 35 years ago.

Ken was crippled and then he wasn’t.

I have lots of stories like this, I’ve had years of witnessing the miracle of changed lives like my Dad and people who were given death sentences but didn’t die. I don’t know why bad things happen and I can’t answer every argument anyone throws at me, but I know Jack, Richard and Ken’s lives were changed. That’s all the proof I need. - Tammy Lou Waite

- Tamilu © October, 2010

Follow me on Twitter @tamilu40

The Porn Star, the Pastor (And What America Can Learn From Them)

You may have heard the name Ron Jeremy.

I certainly won't judge you if you have; I've been aware of his career since college. Ron was an answer to a trivia video game at the bar my friends and I frequented in college. The guys in our circle thought my BFF and I must be really wild because we knew the answer to that question - but in fact we were merely Christian virgins who just spent too much time at the bar playing video games and had memorized all the answers.

On the off chance you didn't hang out in bars in the 80's playing video trivia, Ron Jeremy is a porn star.

I wanted to link Ron's Wikipedia page to this blog, but even the first paragraph of his bio would put my blog into R-rated territory, so if you opt to Google him on your own, it won't be my fault. Ron has made around 2000 adult films, and has had a career that spans 30 years. He likes porn and is proud of his body of work.

Craig Gross on the other hand, is the pastor of the XXX church and works tirelessly to help people break free of sex and porn addictions, as well as reaching out to people people in the adult entertainment industry.

They make an unlikely duo, and yet they have staged 60+ debates on Pornography asking the question "Is Porn just a harmless hobby, or is it destructive to our society?"

This forum is normally held on college campuses, but last night was held for the first time in a church at the Rock Church in San Diego.

This was not a "church" event. It was raw and uncensored. People discussed topics that aren't normally discussed in church. Pastor Miles playfully mimicked splashing Ron with Holy Water a few times when the topics got especially graphic.

People from the adult entertainment industry sat beside avid churchgoers and had an open discussion about Sex (even the word Sex was displayed on the stage glimmering in neon for emphasis.) People laughed, and gasped and applauded and reacted. It was a passionate event with strong feelings on both sides.

Each man got a set time to make his point and the debate ensued.

Craig Gross told tales of women desperate to leave the industry, the shame and embarrassment they felt after leaving and never being able to shake the reputation, and the destruction of families and marriages due to unrealistic expectations of sex and the rejection and betrayal one spouse felt when another viewed porn.

Ron Jeremy countered with a list of women who have become millionaires making porn and used the money to invest and start their own businesses, and consenting adults and married couples who use porn to enrich their sex lives.

It's clear that these two men agree on very little. (The only topic on which they did agree was their mutual and passionate objection to the sexual explotation of children.)

They are at totally opposite ends of the spectrum and disagreed on 99% of the topics brought before them.

But the thing that struck me and wormed its way into my soul is this: These two men clearly respect one another. They're friends. They travel together on a bus. They told humorous stories about one another. They know each other's families. There was disagreement, but no animosity. There were two opposing lifestyles without any judgment or hatred. They love each other.

In a country with a deep partisan divide and people calling those with opposing beliefs Hitler and accusing opposing viewpoints as unpatriotic and dangerous, Ron Jeremy and Craig Gross are shining examples of what America is all about. Ron is free to his beliefs, Craig is free to his, and they can peacefully co-exist. While I'm sure Craig prays for Ron's salvation, he doesn't condemn him. While Ron doesn't share Craig's beliefs, he respects Craig for standing up for his beliefs and for helping people who do want to get out of the industry.

I walked away from that even with a headful of alarming stats about Pornography and a genuine respect for the two men who disagreed so graciously.

Pay attention America. Play nice. - Tammy Lou Waite © 10.10.10

Follow me on Twitter @tamilu40